Whether you’re texting or using a dedicated messaging app like iMessage or WhatsApp, there are certain rules you should follow to ensure your conversation goes as smoothly as possible. Unfortunately, it seems like not everyone got the memo listing the basic texting etiquette everyone should know.
The way you communicate through texting says a lot about your personality and how you interact with others. Whether you’re texting with a friend or a coworker, there are unwritten rules you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings or awkwardness. If you want to make a good impression and maintain a smooth relationship with those you’re communicating with, sticking to these rules can make your messages more effective and professional. Check out these fun texting games to play while chatting with friends and family.
1. Avoid Shatner messages (a series of text messages)
While you may not be familiar with the term “Shatner texting,” you’re probably familiar with what it refers to. It’s simply a series of short messages sent quickly when one longer message would have sufficed. Some people may send one word at a time for dramatic effect, creating endless notifications on your phone.
The name refers to the way American actor William Shatner, known for his staccato, heavily pausing performances in the popular TV series Star Trek, has a tendency to add pauses between words. The style involves slowing down the pace of speech and adding unnatural pauses, which can create a dramatic or unexpected effect in speech. This is the texting style used here. Whatever you choose to call it, please stop doing it.
2. Don't write long articles without stopping.
In direct opposition to Shatner's letters, some people write long essays as letters, and that's also unnecessary. Even if you have a main point to make to someone, spare their soul by not sending a long, rambling letter that covers multiple topics at once.
Instead, focus on one topic and send the message. Then allow the recipient to respond before moving on to a different topic. If you imagine how this might feel in a real-world conversation rather than an online message, you can easily see how inappropriate and unnecessary this approach is.
3. If you read a message, always acknowledge it.
We all have that friend who lets a conversation on a messaging app end without acknowledging that they’re walking away. We all know that’s rude. You should always acknowledge the message in some way, even if it’s just a check mark or a thumbs-up emoji. This lets the other person know that you’ve seen it and are ready to move on.
Why is this rude? Well, imagine you were talking to someone face-to-face, and they walked away without letting you end the conversation in any way. You’d feel annoyed, and rightfully so. And we need to use the same basic level of courtesy in our online interactions as well. We should even be polite to intelligent chatbots!
4. Don't bother someone to get back to you quickly.
While it's tempting to figuratively annoy someone when they don't respond to a message right away, it's also rude. They may be busy, so unless you know they're online and available, give them a chance.
However, there is a limit to this. As mentioned earlier, it is rude to completely ignore someone’s message, so if they do not respond or otherwise acknowledge it, for example after 24 hours, you are within your rights to send a follow-up message.
5. Be aware of when you message someone.
With the planet now connected like never before, you likely have family and friends all over the world. Messaging allows you to communicate with them more freely and easily than ever before. But you need to be aware of the different time zones that exist.
I work with a lot of Americans, and they know not to text me in the evening in their time zone, which would be the early hours of the morning for me here in the UK. While most people use Do Not Disturb to prevent this from happening, you should also be aware of the time (in their time zone) when you are texting someone.
6. Remember who you are messaging.
It’s often easy to forget that different recipients need different types of messages. For example, I speak very differently in a family WhatsApp group than I do in a group of like-minded, same-age friends. What you say and how you say it should be different for different groups of people.
In addition to speaking differently to friends than to family, you should also tone down your tone in conversations with coworkers or your boss. They may not appreciate the sassy photo you were going to send to your friend, or the joke you were going to tell your friends. Check out how to send anonymous messages on Facebook Messenger.
7. Never send anything inappropriate via message.
Even if you think the recipient will appreciate what you send, you should always think twice before sending anything inappropriate. Content can range from the explicit images and bold jokes mentioned above to anything containing personal or sensitive information.
I would also urge caution when speaking badly of a friend to another, as screenshots of messages can be taken and used against you. Screenshots can also accidentally expose your identity, but that’s a whole other story. Friends come and go, and if you send the wrong message to a friend and then get into a fight, that wrong thing can be used against you.
8. Use emojis sparingly (and appropriately)
For many of us, emojis have become the default way to respond to things we see online, including messages. And that’s perfectly fine. I love them as much as anyone else, because they give us all a shortcut to acknowledge something.
However, you can use emojis too often, and if you do, you’ll not only lose their impact, but you’ll start to look lazy and indifferent. Emojis (like the thumbs up or smiley face) are good when the message doesn’t warrant an actual response, but not when you’re being asked a direct question or talking about something serious. Check out our guide to using emojis on Mac: Quick and easy ways.
9. Always use correct spelling and grammar.
Younger generations are unlikely to accept this rule in correspondence, as many of them see correct spelling and grammar as entirely optional. But I think everyone should at least strive to spell words correctly, and to put commas where (and only where) they should be in all forms of written communication.
Back in 2012, I wrote an article about why typos are always important, even in text messages. And while the world has moved on a lot since then, with messaging apps taking over SMS, I still think my point is valid.
10. Never assume everyone knows texting slang.
Abbreviations are commonly used when texting people, mainly because text messages have a certain number of characters, meaning that any opportunity to reduce the number of characters used was beneficial. But not everyone knows all the abbreviations that exist.
Generally, the older you get, the more this problem becomes. New abbreviations and acronyms are being invented all the time, with many already in the dictionary. But any abbreviation that doesn’t make it into the mainstream can be confusing to the rest of the population. So try to use full words when possible, even if it takes longer to type.
11. Never text someone when you are tired.
You should never text anyone when you’re tired or angry. Basically, if your rational mind is unlikely to be working at full capacity for whatever reason, you should stop yourself from texting people. Even if that means locking your phone somewhere where it’s not accessible.
Why? Because you may have lost your instinct not to offend, and/or lost your inhibitions. This means you may end up texting that ex you keep thinking about, or you may end up sending the wrong text to the wrong person.
Here are some rules to keep in mind when sending messages to others. Not only will they ensure that you don’t come across as rude, they can also prevent you from getting into awkward situations. Now, you can check out how to send automatic replies to text messages on Android.
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